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To my self from 2016 Hello, I am very proud of you and I'm sure he was as well. You've been through a lot lately, and exceeded everyone's expectations at the same time. Now, dad is gone and he'll never know. You never realized it until now, but your whole motivation to power through was rooted in your desire to make him proud. Don't lose your drive, make yourself proud. It might look like everything's in the bag, but there are things down the road that you're not aware of and your plans might be quite flawed. Also, don't waste your time trying to befriend people who don't really care about you and who you don't really care about yourself, if you're honest. Remember that you already have friends - and they are good ones, too. Friends, that know you really well. They will be able to handle knowing you that tiny bit better. While you're at it, google "high functioning depression" and "complex trauma". That'll save you...

 Learning Finnish - an unexpected journey

Clearly inspired by Countryballs

1. How it started

Well, the journey started just recently, about two weeks ago. Originally, I followed the path of a kivy library tutorial that teaches how to program UIs on mobile via Python, which is a language that I neglected for way to long /* I'm a C kind of guy */. But over the past three weeks I was very busy renovating my flat, which means I was short of energy and most of that energy went into workouts. In my spare time I spend way too much time on twitter, and there I was made aware of Duolingo - a freemium language learning platform that already exists for many years and you more than likely beat me to it. I was in the mood for some casual learning and thought about improving my English skills, but didn't find a way of skipping past the super easy beginner courses. Not that I tried too hard finding one, I wasn't committed at all. Already doing something entirely different, another tweet caught my eye where someone claimed that Norwegian would be "easy to learn", for Germans in particular. 
Now, I occasionally spam on a heavily finnish Discord server and figured that it might be fun to toy around with that particular language. And since Finland and Norway are so close together on the map - what could go wrong? I obviously had no idea about language families, cause Finnish is pretty much a complete outlier in that regard, see picture below. Later, the server admin was eager to point that out, but I already had the second lesson under my belt and decided to keep going until I was beaten - which hasn't happened to this day; even tho I cry on the inside sometimes.

Find the Finns!

2. How it's going

I'm five lessons in now and on my last of three days of free premium time that I unlocked via some easy achievements. I can introduce myself and others, compliment them or tell them how rude they are. I know about "sisukas", which apparently is a very important personality trait for a Finn - gotta have "true grit", that's the rite of passage! I can ask who or what "that" is and I can explain it to others. I can also tell others where I am - here: I'm a saksalainen in saksa. Pets will love me, I know all about pets and how söpö, kiltti or tuhma they can be. So far it's been a very nice mix of cultural information, syntax and basic vocabulary, that will break the ice and won't leave me stranded if I ever happen to wash up in Finland. That much I have achieved, I feel.
In general it's the vocabulary that's holding me back at the moment, cause I foolishly rushed through the content at times. Today was different tho, cause my lazy self went back to the start and studied for four hours, after which I had completed every single of the current chapters with "legendary" honors. Achieving legendary status is kinda easier on a premium account, cause you have unlimited attempts and don't have to pay earn-able currency for each, like freemium users. I failed only two of seven tests and feel like I earned my place in the current content now. 

Sarah's twitter

3. Goals

I jokingly once said to someone that I started this journey to someday be able to understand the lyrics of the song called EZ4ENCE. That is a battle hymn meant to support and cheer on the finnish esports team ENCE and I absolutely love how energetic and uplifting it is. 


Ultimately I have no goals apart from not giving up easily, cause the task at hand seems a bit too daunting for any promises. I will just go with the flow and see how far I get and where my curiosity leads me. A huge "thank you" for all the help and input that is provided by the finnish speaking people on said Discord server; it always helps a lot to have mentors. Wish I could spend a year or two in Finland and practice at each and every corner. An actual goal of mine is to pick up that kivy course again and finish my app. Hyvä Suomi ♥

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